Real estate is stressful. It is stressful for buyers. It is stressful for sellers. It is even stressful for us realtors. I can’t tell you how often I see people stressed beyond belief and struggling to keep it together.
This is for everyone stressed beyond belief and struggling to keep it together. Because let’s be real, we have all been there. It really just feels like a never-ending battle of being the best and being everything to everyone. Well guess what. As I am sure you are aware of by now, that feeling will burn you out! And you guessed it- you are not your best when you are burnt out.
So what does it mean to have your sh*t together? That question is so hard to answer. In fact, it is so hard to answer that most of us don’t even try to answer it! What I have realized is that being your best self means something different to everyone and something different to ourselves every day. So no wonder why we feel overwhelmed!
What are we to do then? Give up? Sure. But that is a terrible feeling. Again. I am sure you already knew that. We have all given up before. So what now! Here’s my two-step advice: choose something and maintain you.
Inherently, we want to be perfect. That is also inherently impossible. This paradox is a source of so much stress and anxiety. And that stress and anxiety gets us upset for not being perfect. My advice? Pick something.
When I say something, I mean ONE thing. Do you want to get in shape? Cool! Start a diet. That does not mean go vegan, do a juice cleanse, take up yoga, get a gym membership, and try keto all at the same time. I am sure you are reading this and thinking to yourself, “well, duh!” Because yes, it makes perfect sense. But think about it! When was the last time you truly set ONE goal? How often do we tell ourselves that we are going to be more fit, a better mom, dressed better, more organized, and a thousand other things all at once? We want to be perfect so we try to be perfect in one step. Does not work. So pick a thing. Want to get more organized? Start with your bedroom, not your whole house. Want to do more in life? Set aside an hour once a week for You time instead of booking a European vacation. It is a simple shift in mindset that gives you ACTUAL results instead of feelings of defeat and frustration.
One of my favorite sayings is “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. What does that mean? You can’t run on empty. You cannot be a good worker, a good mom, a good wife, a good friend or good at everything if you are emotionally exhausted. It is simply impossible to hold your life together if you yourself are falling apart. So sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is do something for you! Your children do not want a mother that is exhausted and grumpy. You truly have to give to yourself to give to others. It is not selfish to take you time. It is as necessary as sleeping and eating. It is what keeps you going.
This might be too strange of a concept for some of you. What does putting yourself even feel like anymore? Putting yourself first is giving yourself a moment of joy simply because it gives you joy. Go paint, take a walk, read a book or do whatever it is you like. Okay, I probably lost some of you there. You are probably thinking “this is for people who have spare time”. Nope! It is simply ten minutes. Seriously. Go to bed 10 minutes later so that you can spend a few minutes just listening to music you like or painting your nails. It really is that simple. It is just a moment of your day that is dedicated to maintaining your own happiness and wellbeing so that you can keep going
And that’s it! A warning: getting your sh*t together does not happen over night. Nor does it come easy. If it were easy, everyone would be living their best lives. It is hard and it is okay to struggle. Allow yourself to have a hard time making changes. Just know that you trying is good enough.