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What To Do With Mom or Dad’s Home When They Need Assisted Living

December 4, 2025 by Melissa DeSantis Leave a Comment

When a parent can no longer live safely at home, the question of what to do with their house becomes both emotional and financial. For most families, the home isn’t just a place filled with memories, it’s also the largest asset they own.

And when parents need assisted living or long-term care, that asset suddenly becomes a big part of how you fund their future care. But before you rush into selling, gifting, or renting the home, it’s important to understand how each decision can affect benefits, taxes, and family legacy.

Why This Decision Feels So Overwhelming

Most families aren’t prepared for this stage of life. You’re trying to do what’s best for your parent, manage emotions, and navigate complicated systems like Medicaid, Social Security, and estate planning often all at once.

Unfortunately, well-intentioned families often make quick choices that backfire. Selling too soon can cause a tax hit or disqualify your parent from Medicaid. Transferring ownership might seem like a good idea, but it can trigger the 5-year Medicaid look-back rule and delay eligibility for benefits. Even renting the home can have income implications that reduce financial aid for care.

Common Mistakes Families Make

  1. Selling the home before knowing what benefits your parent qualifies for.
    This can disqualify them from Medicaid and increase out-of-pocket care costs.
  2. Gifting the home to a child “to protect it.”
    Medicaid counts gifts within the last five years and can deny benefits for months or years.
  3. Assuming the home won’t count against benefits.
    In many cases, it does especially if no one lives there or the title is unclear.
  4. Renting the property without understanding income rules.
    Rental income can affect benefit calculations and taxes if not structured properly.

Your Real Options When Parents Need Assisted Living

Every situation is unique, but here are some of the paths families explore with the right guidance:

  • Sell the home strategically.
    If selling makes sense, work with a real estate professional familiar with care transitions. They can help you time the market, manage net proceeds, and coordinate with legal or tax advisors to protect equity.
  • Rent the home to cover care costs.
    In some cases, converting the property into a rental provides monthly income while preserving ownership,but make sure it aligns with benefit requirements.
  • Transfer ownership correctly.
    If protecting the home is the goal, work with an elder law attorney to explore trusts or LLCs rather than direct gifting.
  • Use partial sales or home equity.
    Sometimes a refinance or equity line can fund care without giving up the property immediately.

Each option has trade-offs, and the best plan considers your family’s financial, emotional, and legal needs.

Why It’s More Than Just a Real Estate Decision

Deciding what to do with your parents’ home isn’t just about property, it’s about protecting what they worked for and ensuring they get the care they need. This is where having a coordinated plan between your realtor, attorney, and financial advisor makes all the difference.

A real estate agent who specializes in senior transitions understands both the market and the sensitivity required in these moments. They can help you explore all options, not just selling and guide the family toward the most balanced outcome.

Final Thoughts

If your parents need assisted living or long-term care soon, take the time to understand your options before making any big moves. With the right plan, you can honor their legacy, protect their equity, and make this transition with peace of mind.

If you’re in Monmouth County, New Jersey, and need help evaluating what to do with your family’s home, I’d be happy to talk through your situation and connect you with trusted professionals who can help.

Filed Under: Real Estate Tips, Sellers

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Melissa DeSantis

Melissa DeSantis: NJ Real Estate Agents
REAL Broker
Servicing Monmouth, Ocean & Middlesex Counties
218 Schanck Road,
Freehold, NJ 07728

Cell: 732-757-2522
Email: m@melissadesantis.com

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